Another Horse, Another Lesson!

Toots came to the Rehm Ranch on October 27th, 2012. I received a phone call in the early afternoon from a friend who I'd trained a horse for this spring. He informed me that he was with a friend of his picking up a horse that had been sent to a trainer in South Dakota. This trainer was said to be a reputable trainer and thus the owner of Toots had sent her there in hopes of her being broken out nicely. After four months of phone calls and the trainer not answering his questions about Toots but rather avoiding them the owner headed up to South Dakota frustrated and set on bringing his horse home. What he found was not what he had brought there! Toots had lost 250 to 300 lbs and was not the same horse in temperament that he'd dropped off in South Dakota just four short months ago. As he loaded up Toots to bring her home his friend mentioned me, and he decided to give me a call.

 I was ecstatic when I received this phone call, for two reasons. The first reason was that God had spoken to me through a dream that He would give me four horses to train in the year 2012. As the end of the year neared I was wondering, "Lord are you really going to give me four horses? I've trained three this year, but where on earth is the fourth one coming from?" I should have known that God had it all planned out! I was overjoyed when I realized that God was bringing the dream He'd given me in the first place to completion. God always keeps His promises! The second reason I was really excited about Toots was because I felt like it was an opportunity for me to "rehabilitate" a horse! With my desire to volunteer at a non-profit ranch in Bend, Oregon that does just that someday I felt as if God was giving me an opportunity to prepare for that in yet another way! 

So the rehabilitating and training began. I consulted with Toots' owner and we immediately got her on grain and hay to try to put weight back on her. Daily I fed Toots, gave her TLC and began to teach her how to respond to the basic rule of pressure and release.

I could tell that Toots had some issues with reacting without thinking from the very beginning, but I had no idea to what extent. I felt that she was progressing along fairly nicely on her groundwork and I was soon riding her. 

 One afternoon I got home from work and went out to fetch Toots. I'd been riding her for a couple of days now in the round pen and felt that she was ready to progress to being ridden with the bit. I slipped the bit into her mouth and clipped the reins on and climbed onto her back. Part way through riding her I asked her to back up. Toots would back up well enough, but she resisted the bit and wouldn't drop her head and tuck her nose in like I wanted her too. I planned to take it in stride and address the issue like I always do. I kept asking her to back up not focusing on getting the actual steps backwards, but waiting for her to drop her head and tuck her nose before I released her. I got one or two steps quite nicely and rewarded her, then I asked her again, and that is when the totally unexpected happened. Without warning Toots flung herself into the air and came over backwards landing on top of me. I felt as if I was being squashed beneath the crushing weight of her 900 pounds and was sure I was going to be seriously injured! I grimaced beneath her weight as she rolled the full weight of her 900 pounds over onto my right leg before scrambling to her feet. I lay there shaking in shock and pain unsure if I was going to be able to stand up. Soon I was forced to when Toots started backing up towards me. Stumbling to my feet I limped to the house with my right arm and leg throbbing. I thought both of them would be broken for sure, in God's mercy neither of them were...just seriously bruised/sprained! 

As you can imagine although I did not cease to thank the Lord for sparing my life in this accident I also questioned Him as to why He would send a horse such as Toots to me! Clearly she must have had some pretty traumatic stuff in her background to respond to me the way she did and suddenly I didn't feel "qualified" for the job at all!

 God didn't respond with a loud booming answer, His answer came softly as I spent time at His feet and listened to His voice regarding Toots! One day as I was talking with a friend I realized  that Toots no longer trusts humans because they have not rewarded her when she did the right thing. Toots has lost the desire to please, she has closed herself up against humans because somewhere along the way she was not rewarded for trying! Because of this Toots literally disconnects her brain from me and what I'm asking her to do refusing to engage in the partnership I desire with her. Her attitude is one of, "There's never been anything in it for me in the past. I have never been rewarded for trying before, and I don't expect to be now!" 

 What Toots is failing to realize is that she's under a new master now, one who has her BEST in mind and will gladly reward even the slightest try! Yet I can not force Toots to trust me! As much as it pains me that she won't trust me I can not plead, beg, conjure, or convince her into trusting me! The only thing I can do is build a relationship with her and prove myself to her by faithfully rewarding and loving her! 

 One day Toots is going to realize my heart towards her, she's going to forgive humans and chose to trust again, and suddenly our relationship will charge forward like a rocket! But until then we are stuck! Me anxiously waiting, longing for Toots to realize how I really feel about her and recognize there is something in it for her, and Toots with a closed unreceiving attitude with no confidence in humans at all. 

As I was thinking about this the Lord spoke to me about my relationship with Him. Often this happens in my dealings with horses and I think that's because God knows that I understand best when He speaks in this way! You see sometimes I close my heart towards God and refuse to receive His affection because I'm afraid of Him rejecting me according to my shortcomings and my failures! I measure God by the way that others have dealt with me when I've failed them and come to the conclusion that He could NEVER love me after I failed Him AGAIN in that exact same way! Yet even as Toots I'm failing to remember I'm under a New Master who operates oh so much differently than my weak human friends!  

 You see in Romans it says there is NO condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, yet why do I daily receive more than my portion of condemnation from the Devil. Why do I close my spirit to His love and find myself trapped in the thoughts and ideas that I have of how God operates instead of the truth of who He really is? It is in this place that I feel the bitter pain of rejection and loneliness that is not actually coming from Him, but rather my own thoughts and ideas of who He is! Like Toots I'm stuck in a place of frustration and confusion unable to receive His love not because His love isn't extended, but rather because I'm refusing to trust that God is who He really says He is. 

 He took the bitter pain of my sin, past, present, and future on the cross and He left it nailed there and there is NO rejection from Him any longer! Does He correct me when I stray and sin? Absolutely, He will go to whatever lengths He needs to to take anything out of the way that hinders love! But what I fail to realize is correction and rejection are two totally different things! When God corrects me He doesn't reject me. But when I listen to Satan's whispers that He does and I close my heart to protect it from rejection I soon find myself far from Him wondering how on earth I'm in the place that I find myself! 

Perhaps it is time that I took the time to stop long enough and learn a lesson that God has been teaching me through a broken lil' horse that is learning to trust again. Perhaps it is time I realized that my Master's heart is good towards me, even as my heart is goods towards Toots! Perhaps I need to step back and listen the the words of a horse trainer to a broken horse, and maybe just maybe I'll find the words are not coming from me, but rather my heavenly Father! 

"Bekah, Don't you see that I love to reward more than correct? Don't you see that My love never stops for a moment, even when you fall short? When will you trust Me for who I am? When will you open your spirit to receive My love? Because I am just waiting, longing for you to trust!"

Wyoming Sis' Visit!

We serve a God who gives GOOD gifts...and He definitely knew that I needed a good gift the week following my big sis/best friend's wedding! :) So He sent my Wyoming sis' Melody to spend the ten days following Anna's wedding with me, and boy did we have a blast!!!! Yep, there were times where I just needed Mel there for a shoulder to cry on as I missed my big sis! But we also found time for some pretty awesome adventures, heart to heart talks, evening walks, sun tanning, swimming, movies, pulling some pretty awesome pranks on David and Samuel Lyons (more on that later), praise and worship times, the animals and the list goes on and on! So let's start at the very beginning -- Aaron and Anna's wedding!!!

SO HAPPY to be together again! :)

Friends For EVER! :)

You can't get a photo shoot of me and Mel without sassy looks and "shooters" coming out sometime! :) LOL

So after the wedding we had a pretty amazing after party at our house on Sunday! There was pancakes, coffee, sweet fellowship, volleyball, pool time, and horse rides! Mel did a great job of capturing a few of these fun events!

Our lawn full of vehicles from the company! :)

Auntie Beep Beep and Joanna hanging out in the pool together!

Joanna absolutely L.O.V.E.S swimming!!! You can't convince her to be done even when her lips are blue from cold! It's pretty cute! :)

David and cousin Zachary in an intense game of pool basketball!

"Shoot David!"

Afternoon games of volleyball

Giving the cousins horseback rides!

Julia and Hannah enjoying a ride on Lucky!

Well Mel was at our house she fell in love with our adorable litter of FIVE ORANGE MALE kittens! This litter of kittens was the first ever in Rehm Ranch history where the entire litter was boys! Until we gave some away I just ended up calling them "the kittens" because they all looked the same!

Kitty love! <3 Mel tried to convince Jon (her husband) to let her bring one home but he flatly refused! "But Jon...just look at him, he's SO CUTE!" :) Lol

There were quite a few HOT days well Melody was visiting so we had tons of fun "chilling" in the pool in the afternoons!

A beautiful picture of our barn Mel snapped when heading out on a walk one evening!

Our stately German Shepard dog Watch!

One of our gorgeous Iowa sunsets! I love living in this part of Iowa! The sunsets and countryside are breathtaking!!!
Well Mel was here she re-strung Thomas' guitar for him so that she could use it for our praise and worship times! It sounded quite a bit better with the new strings on, although we had trouble with it slipping out of tune really easily!
Tuesday afternoon Mel and I filled up the Buick which we have affectionately named "the grandma car" and headed for one of my favorites spots around here -- The Quaint Little Cabin! :) Yep, again! :) I just love that little cabin and all the good memories that the Lord has allowed me to make there!!!
As I mentioned in one of my previous posts I firmly believe that lighter fluid is a woman's BEST friend! :) LOL In fact Mel was the one who got me addicted to it in the first place so it was only appropriate that she should start the campfire using lighter fluid! :) However, one small problem! We forgot the matches! Lighter fluid doesn't work to well without matches! LOL Thankfully the neighbors just up the road from the park bailed us out supplying us with a whole box of matches and we were good to go! :)
Ahhhhh....the pure satisfaction and sense of complete control that squirting lighter fluid onto a lifeless pile of sticks and watching them turn into a blazing inferno brings! :) LOL
Wednesday afternoon we decided to explore the nature trails together! We hiked to a secluded spot and then had to some heart to heart time! It was wonderful!

A bright green bug we found on our walk! :)

One of the beautiful trails we hiked down!

I L.O.V.E. this picture!!! I don't know what it is, but somehow green grass swaying and curling in the wind just gives you a sense of peace and rest inside!

Our secluded spot for our heart to heart! :) I got to share a really neat chapter with Melody from a book I was reading at the time called "Fierce Beauty!"

Self Portrait! :)

Enjoying God's creation together!

A cute little rabbit we spotted on the way back to the cabin.

One of the really special times we shared well staying at the cabin was when we took our lawn chairs and put them by the edge of the lake. Melody brought Thomas' guitar down and we spent a good while worshiping the Lord together and talking! It was SO REFRESHING!

Little stinker...stole my cell phone and is texting someone, again! Yep, she's done it once before, but this time I found out she was just texting a picture to herself that she wanted off my phone! :) Whew! :-P Lol

Mel was super good about getting in on all the chores well she was at our house!

She milked a goat for her first time and did better than some others around here who, ehem, shall remain nameless! :)
Well Mel was here we taught the kittens to drink milk from a pan! It was really cute to see their little chins covered with milk afterwards! :)

Matching Outfits!

Mel pretty much got in on EVERYTHING well she was visiting! :) The weekend before she had to leave I had to go to Des Moines, Iowa to play the piano for Iowa's children home school conference. Mel cheerfully tagged along, and become my personal "cheerleader" for my first time every playing in a large group setting!
Chilling in the back of a car together headed here or there during our busy weekend in Des Moines!
Ahhhh yes...this is where our prank on Samuel Lyon comes in! :) The theme of the conference was Greek/Bible times. However Samuel the "conference clown" thinks that it's a "geek conference" not Greek conference! Since the girls were staying at the same house that Samuel and Nicole were Melody, and I took the opportunity that was just to good to pass up to re-string Sam's shoes with neon colored shoelaces! :) Hehehehe!
Thankfully Sam is a "fun loving" guy and he took it all in stride styling his neon shoe lace shoes quite well! :) At least Sam was more fortunate than David! He got his toenails painted well he was sleeping, and we were working on his fingernails when he woke up...that didn't turn out quite as well! Lol

The entire cast for the drama at the conference in Iowa!

Saturday evening Mel, and I returned home from the conference and Sunday we were off to a new adventure! The neighbors had asked me to take care of their farm for them while they were gone so Mel, game for anything, came along to do the chores with me!
There is two houses that are lived in on the property as the son lives on the same place as his parents! We had to do chores for both of them!
Although we didn't mind at all as the Lapke's own one of the most beautiful farms around here! Oh what I would give to have a farm like this! :)
Every morning and evening when we arrived their three border collies would rush up to greet us! :)

Mel and I fell in love with their border collie puppy named Amber! She's a sweetie!!!

And who could EVER complain about this sight greeting you EVERY morning and evening as you hauled corn around to the different horses?! They had a beautiful buckskin filly that had just been foaled this spring that I L.O.V.E.D to watch come running down with her mommy at feeding time!!!

I just L.O.V.E. how gangly, adorable, and breathtaking foals are all at once! :)

Amber -- Cutest thing this side of the Mississippi! :)

Intent on watching the sheep!

Feed time! :)

Part of our duties was bottle feeding this adorable little calf who I affectionately named Milk Chocolate because of her creamy brown color!
It cracked me up when she would suck on the gate once we'd finished feeding her! Hilarious! :-D

Feeding two more of their insanely gorgeous half Arabian, half Quarter horse horses! I just L.O.V.E. that two year old buckskin filly! She's amazing!!! Her conformation is stunning and her personality great! Oh to own a horse like that! :)

Putting the corn back in the shed!

The Lapke's pretty white barn!

Headed up the driveway to feed some more of their stunning horses!

Yep...they're pretty much amazing! :) Jealous! :)

Sunday afternoon after we got home from chores I took a few fun maternity shots of Mel! Yeah I know right, you didn't even realize she was pregnant until you saw this picture!! This girl hides it incredibly well, but she hit the four month mark well at our house and so we decided to snap a few pictures!! I can hardly believe my Wyoming sis' is going to have a baby!!! :)
I am SO INCREDIBLY grateful to my heavenly Father for sending Mel to visit for the ten days following Anna's wedding! The Lord used her in a powerful way to refresh, encourage, and help me adjust in the week following Anna's wedding! SO MANY good memories were made that will NEVER be forgotten! Love you MORE Wyoming Sis!!!! <3

Every good gift and every perfect gift

is from above, and comes down from

the Father of lights, with whom there

is no variation or shadow of turning.

James 1:17