Work With Purpose

For a while now I've been reading in the book of Acts. It's been thrilling following the accounts of the disciples adventures and struggles in bringing the gospel of Jesus to the lost. Acts is a captivating retelling that keeps you on the edge of your seat. Many times it is a life and death situation for the disciples, and you're left marveling at how they narrowly escaped death yet once again. Tonight when reading in Acts chapter seventeen I was struck yet once again by the tremendous amount of opposition the disciples faced over and over again, and they NEVER quit! They were beaten, threatened, thrown into prison, brought before authorities, and told to stop preaching the gospel time and time again, and they NEVER quit! They literally would preach one place until they were no longer welcome there and then move onto the next town and begin preaching there only to be threatened, accused, and opposed in that town too.

Y'all this has hit me deep! It's been like something that has slowly marinated deep in my soul as I have woven my way through the book of Acts. With each passing verse and chapter I've found myself thinking, "Aren't they discouraged yet. Don't they want to give up yet?" I mean I get discouraged because my computer freezes up on me when I'm composing a blog post. Or my knee hurts a little when I'm running. Or because my life doesn't look quite like what I expected or hoped in this season. While these are all real and valid components of my life some days, my recent journey through Acts has challenged me to reconsider how I navigate the opposition and challenges life throws at me.

I've been astonished to realize that there is not any recounting of the disciples complaining of being overwhelmed, discouraged, or tired beyond giving of themselves again. Nope, instead after being rejected in one town they faithfully head to the next town and commence preaching once again. It didn't matter if they were going to get shot down again. It didn't matter if they got beaten again. It didn't matter if prison was their next stop. They kept being faithful to their calling. Kept doing the next thing. Kept taking the next step, following the Holy Spirit, and trusting God to use it all for His glory!

But some of the Jews were jealous, so they gathered some troublemakers from the marketplace to form a mob and start a riot. They attacked the home of Jason, searching for Paul and Silas so they could drag them out to the crowd. Acts 17:5 NLT

That very night the believers sent Paul and Silas to Berea. When they arrived there, they went to the Jewish synagogue. Acts 17:10 NLT

But when some Jews in Thessalonica learned that Paul was preaching the word of God in Berea, they went there and stirred up trouble. The believers acted at once, sending Paul on to the coast, while Silas and Timothy remained behind. Acts 17:13-14 NLT

Do you hear it, do you see it, do you feel it?! Within just a few short verses of each other Paul and his team have been kicked out of a town twice and gone on to preach at the next place they were sent to. If you crack open the book of Acts you will read of this very thing time and time again! 

I'm gonna make a confession. The other night I was feeling a little down about this. I was thinking to myself, "The disciples in the book of Acts defied death, they endured intense suffering, and were ridiculed, mocked, and threatened all for the sake of the gospel." In comparison my life looks and feels pretty mundane and boring some days. But as fast as that thought entered my mind the Holy Spirit whispered. "It all holds purpose. Open your eyes to see it. The very things that you see as opposition in your life. The things that discourage you and get you down. They're you're opportunity to allow Me to do My deeper work in you. That's YOUR suffering, that's YOUR struggle. You know what it is for you that you keep coming back up against. You know what it is for you that you face around every corner. That's your opportunity to lean deep into Me and grow character and grace that has an impact for Me and My kingdom." 

It's true! God has placed each one of us on earth at this unique point in history for a specific plan and purpose. Every difficulty, every closed door, and every dead end that He allows in our lives holds a specific purpose. If we allow the Holy Spirit to keep this in the forefront of our minds, if we chose to work with purpose, it will change us from the inside out. In the weeks and months ahead I'm going to be seeking to adopt the disciples mindset. When a door closes, when something doesn't work out, when people judge me or put me down for the way I chose to live my life, I'm gonna pick up my knapsack and head to the "next town." I'm gonna work with purpose at each opportunity God gives me until that door closes, and when it closes I'm gonna trust God with that closed door. Truth is that the rejection and opposition the disciples faced often sent them forward to the next opportunity God had for them. So I'm not gonna question the closed doors, the opposition, the suffering I face. I'm going to embrace it as part of God's grand plan to lead me forward in His grace and truth. I'm gonna trust that the purpose the next opportunity holds is worth the opposition I'm facing right now. I'm gonna walk through the mundane and boring some days hold knowing that with Jesus the next adventure is just a closed door and an unexpected opportunity away. With this in mind, I work with purpose. 

Each Sabbath found Paul at the synagogue, trying to convince the Jews and Greeks alike. And after Silas and Timothy came down from Macedonia, Paul spent all his time preaching the word. He testified to the Jews that Jesus was the Messiah. But when they opposed and insulted him, Paul shook the dust from his clothes and said, "Your blood is upon your own heads--I am innocent. From now on I will go preach to the Gentiles." Acts 18:4-6 

Just Do You

I have a confession to make! I really heavily considered not posting this week! This week I just wasn't feeling it! Can anyone give me an "Amen," that February is the longest shortest month of the year?! Gosh! I've been waning on motivation and living intentionally every day that passes this month! All my heart wants is 80 degree days, sunsets at 9:30pm, and tank tops! I was wracking my brains and praying asking God to give me something to write about this week and NOTHING was coming. It was a blank page my friends. Ping pong balls and cobwebs inside my head as I sometimes like to say.

But still, I didn't want to give up on showing up and choosing to write on the days I feel like it and the days I don't. Although it is easier to write when inspired I have come to learn that if we are committed to something we have to treat it similar to a job. We have to push back against the resistance and show up on the days we feel like it and the days we are dragging our feet and uninspired!

So here we go! We're gonna talk about line dancing again. I know, you're probably thinking to yourself that all I talk about is horses, running, and dancing these days. That's probably because that is mostly what I talk about. They're very prevalent in my life and something I find easy to draw correlations to life with!

I've been line dancing for three months now. When I first started I didn't know a darn thing! I made sure to always show up for the hour lesson before they opened up the dance floor each week. I sought to learn as much as possible before stumbling around on the floor for a couple hours after the lesson. I'm sure it was very entertaining to watch me intently watch someone who knew what they were doing and copy them the best I could about three beats behind each step they were executing. I made a fool of myself, sure, but guess what?! I was having fun and learning.

In the last several weeks here a shift occurred. It used to be that I left the dance floor because my brain and my feet needed a little break from learning all the line dances. Yet as the weeks progressed a new song would come on and instead of leaving I would get excited because I had the line dance for it down by heart. Then another song would sound across the speakers and the same thing would happen again. Consistency and showing up were starting to pay off.

Last week we were line dancing to a song I knew by heart and out of old habit I looked at the person in the line in front of me to follow the pattern their feet were creating. It used to be this helped me to accurately execute a line dance, but now that I knew the dance it had the opposite effect. My feet started going to the wrong places and stepping on the wrong beat as I looked to the individual in front of me to guide me at something I already knew. It's like my feet were saying to me, "We know this. We got this. You just do you!" I intentionally took my eyes off the individual in front of me and focused on the truth that my feet and heart knew this line dance. Effortlessly the dance unfolded without a thought. I smiled inwardly. What an interesting thought! It immediately made me draw the comparison to the way we live life. There is a time and a place to take our cues from others as we learn and grow in a new situation or skill set, but there is a time and a place to know what we know and just do us!

I have a big struggle with people pleasing! It's something God is still working with me on. I'll be the first to admit that I'm that person that holds back when I spot that person who intimidates me or who I want to impress in the room. But just like dancing, when we have our eyes on that person and we are taking our cues from them it really messes things up! Our steps get all muddled and we don't just dance the way God intended for us to because we are letting someone else control our steps. We are our absolute best when we recognize that God is smiling at us saying, "You already know this. You just do you!" There is only One who we need to be pleasing, and because of the cross He is already pleased with us. Do you know what that means? It means we get to just dance. To love life, to give it our all, to be totally okay with us and get caught up in the moment instead of looking around to see who's watching!

I hope you'll join me in embracing exactly who it is God has created us to be! Of learning to not hold back, to not copy someone else's steps, but to simply dance the dance God intended for us to. Remember, the dance God has for you to dance is going to be specific to only you, and only me! Whoever it is that you are, this is a dance God has been teaching you over time. He's been showing you what needs to fall away, what steps are wrong, and what ones you have down perfectly! You know this, just do you!

Our PURPOSE is to please GOD, not PEOPLE. He alone examines the motives of our HEARTS.

1 Thessalonians 2:4b NLT (Emphasis added)

Obviously, I'm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ's servant.
Galatians 1:10 NLT

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.

Colossians 3:23-24 NKJV

Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety.

Proverbs 29:25 NLT

But Peter and the apostles replied, "We must obey God rather than any human authority.

Acts: 5:29 NLT

Pinpoint The Pain

My feet beat a steady rhythm out on the treadmill as the sound of my audio book filled my ears. Early morning runs are always a challenge for me. Mornings are not my thing, and while we are being honest running really isn't either. But it's about choosing what you want most rather than what you want right now. I want to be in shape and living life to the fullest more than I want to stay in bed for another two hours and sleep. Once the battle is won, once my feet hit the floor and I throw on my tank top and running leggings it typically gets easier from there.

I had almost made it through my first half a mile when it happened. Something gave way in my right knee without warning. It was like my right knee just quit on me. Pain shot up my leg and screamed at me to quit running. I didn't want to quit! I figured I could limp this weird idiosyncrasy off while still halfway running. Taking on an offbeat rhythm I tried to do just that. I placed half my weight on my right leg and lifted it quickly while putting my full weight on my left and drawing out my stride as long as possible. This lasted for about three hobbles. Every other hop pain shot through my right knee and up my leg throwing off any small semblance of rhythm I was still managing to keep. The unexpected spikes of pain up my leg caused me to falter and threatened to throw me off the back of the treadmill in one ugly sweep of the belt. Defeated I slowed the treadmill to walking speed and limped painfully along. Even at a walk my right knee was still randomly giving way and throbbing painfully. I wracked my brains for what could be going on. I was baffled. In my childhood I had dealt with issues with my left knee, not my right, and even at that my left knee hadn't flared up in ages. What on earth was going on?!

I finished off my morning exercise routine walking and called it a morning. I was still puzzled throughout the day. That night I went line dancing crossing my fingers that my right knee would hold up for me. Line dancing went off without a hitch, but my left leg felt a little weird afterwards. On the car ride home my hand subconsciously reached down and began rubbing the side of my left leg. I was astonished at what I felt, and suddenly it made sense. My left leg was tender to the touch just above my knee. My fingers moved upwards on my leg following the strained muscle and until they stopped at a tight knot of scar tissue. Late this fall I had been bucked off a horse and stomped on. I thought the horse hoof print bruise that was left on my leg would fade with time. It did, but it also left it's mark turning into a lump of scar tissue. Since it never bothered me much anymore I hadn't given it much thought. As I rubbed the sore knot of scar tissue and the strained muscle below it the pieces fell into place in my mind. It wasn't the right knee that had a problem at all. An old injury that I had forgotten about was causing me to run in a way that sought to protect that injury. In doing so my right knee had taken the blunt force and weight of my morning runs for the last month. For a while my right leg could take the extra strain of protecting my injury. It had hidden the fact that an old injury had flared up. But eventually my right leg was forced to tell me the truth. It was forced to alert me to the fact that it was protecting and hiding the real pain. It pinpointed for me where the pain was originating from.

This little setback I've been dealing with has caused me to reflect on how this goes hand in hand with the pain we navigate in life. Anger, fear, depression, and many other negative emotions are not the actual issue. They are simply the byproduct of a deeper pain. I'm a fixer. If somethings wrong I want to fix it. So for me when I'm angry, or anxious, or downcast I want to fix it. I want to let my anger go, I want to wrestle my anxiety until I beat it, I want to be strong enough to conjure up joy when I'm discouraged. Honestly, this doesn't work. It's just like assuming there's a problem with my right knee just because it started causing me pain. Sometimes you have to dig a little deeper. Sometimes you have to play connect the dots. Sometimes you have to pinpoint the pain. The negative emotions we deal with are hiding the real injury, they're attempting to protect us from the enormity of the pain the original injury carries. But they can only do this for us for so long. One day they'll give way beneath the weight and strain and we will be forced to pinpoint where the pain is originating from.

You don't have to wait until those emotions give way and reveal the truth. You can pinpoint the pain at the early warning signs. You can listen when that injury hurts. You can take measures to heal that injury and strengthen it. Because one way or another that old injury, that abuse, that failed relationship, that shattered dream is going to make it's voice be heard. Listening to and pinpointing your pain requires being brave and intentional. It requires revisiting your pain so that it can be properly dealt with and healed. As hard as it is, as much as it hurts, it is way better than trying to keep running on an old injury. Own your pain so that your pain doesn't own you. Whatever the first step looks like for you, be brave enough to take it. Reach out to someone safe, allow them to step into your pain. Seek wise counsel. Find out what your resources are. Get a game plan to allow that old injury the healing process it deserves. You are made for more! You deserve to be whole and strong so that you can chase down your dreams without any hindrance! Be kind to yourself and listen to your pain. When it's all said and done you won't regret that you did!

So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.

Hebrews 12:12-13 NLT

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

Isaiah 43:19 NLT