Choose Life

August of 2018 found me in Hill City, South Dakota on what I have come to call, "the trip of a lifetime!" Through a total God set of circumstances I was able to get away from work, life, and all of it's demands to ride horses with a group of friends in the Black Hills of South Dakota. This trip of a lifetime lasted 10 days and I was able to bring my own mustang Kid along to ride. It was a dream come true. The Black Hills hold a rugged beauty all their own that I didn't know existed. Riding twisting trails that took us around the backside of Mount Rushmore, taking our horses to to the top of the highest peak in South Dakota, following a trail through a valley that crossed the same creek time and time again, buffalo and antelope sightings name just a few of the highlights of this incredible trip! I could write a whole blog post about the adventures we experienced, the memories made, and the lessons learned on this trip. But today I want to share with you a very special gift the Lord bestowed on me on this trip, a surprise, something I never saw coming when I packed my bags and hit the road for South Dakota.

Before leaving for South Dakota I encountered some logistical complications and roadblocks in getting myself and Kid to South Dakota. Every time I prayed about it and asked the Lord if I was really supposed to go, if everything was going to work out, if I could swing it financially, the answer was crystal clear, "Trust Me and go! This trip is more than a vacation. I have something greater waiting for you in South Dakota." I wrestled to trust God at times as I obeyed and continued forward even when opposition hit me. But God's strong whisper was so clear every time I found myself doubting that I pushed forward believing Him for the good things He had in store for me in South Dakota. 

August 11, 2018, we arrived safely in Hill City, South Dakota. Any doubt or concerns I had prior to arriving in South Dakota quickly vanished upon arriving and getting settled. I knew immediately in the deep places of my heart  that this was indeed going to be the trip of a lifetime. Sunday morning before leaving for our first trail ride we all had a little church service in camp together. The beauty of God's creation, the fresh mountain air, the strains of 30 voices lifting up the song "Amazing Grace My Chains Are Gone," in unison brought tears to my eyes. From there forward our group was on a mission to ride as many miles as possible on this vacation. Life took on a rhythm of an early morning start to accommodate hitting the trail by 8 or 8:30am each day. We typically spent 8 hours on the trail daily and often covered up to 25 miles. We rode through rain, sunshine, and hail covering a wide variety of terrain. Every day my heart felt full to overflowing. Every day all day I was doing what I love most. Enjoying God through creation from the back of my horse. Shortly into our trip I began to discover the "something greater," God had been speaking to me about before leaving for South Dakota. As we fell into our routine of trail riding all day every day God began to speak to me. Sure I spent plenty of time visiting with others on the trail, but in the quiet, in the in between, a silent conversation evolved naturally with the Lord. God began speaking to my heart about painful things that had happened in 2018 that we hadn't talked about yet. I hadn't been ready, and God in His kindness had been waiting for the time when He knew my heart was ready to handle it. Here in the stunning beauty of the Black Hills, in the comfort of my mustang Kid's presence, I was ready. He talked to me about heartbreak, about shattered dreams, about forgiveness. He challenged my view of myself in comparison to His view of me. He started healing my heart and setting me free from things that had held me in their grip for too long.

This conversation with Jesus ebbed and flowed beautifully as I rode the trails of the Black Hills. He didn't talk all the time, but when He did it made complete sense and it reached so deep and carried such power that it's mark will forever be on my heart and spirit. Sometimes the conversation continued or picked back up in the evenings. I was reading a novel by Karen Kingsbury on this trip called, "One Tuesday Morning." When I chose to pick this book up and start reading it last summer I had no clue how God was going to use it in my life. A portion of this book talks about navigating grief. The story line follows a woman who was widowed that "One Tuesday Morning," when planes were tragically flown first into the north tower and then the south on September 11th. In the aftermath of the loss of her husband Jamie is challenged through her deceased husband's journal to "Choose Life." Jake had put the verse Deuteronomy 30:19 in his journal. I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore CHOOSE LIFE, that both you and your descendants may live; (Deuteronomy 30:19 NKJV) He then had written a prayer in his journal asking God that no matter what his wife faced in life, no matter what came her way, that she would always choose life. At the time of reading this I remember taking up my conversation with the Lord again asking Him how I could be "choosing life?" How I could order my life to do the things that cause me to feel truly alive, to choose the best version of me, to be fully present, fully living?!

Something pretty special that God has done for me every year for several years now is to give me a word or phrase for the year. I never know when this word or phrase is going to show up. Sometimes it is in keeping with the beginning of the New Year, sometimes God impresses the word or phrase on my heart at a totally different time. But always it becomes incredibly clear when God is asking me to receive a word or phrase to characterize my year. Sometimes it is over a period of time God makes this clear. I don't always recognize it's my word or phrase for a year when it first shows up. This was the case with the phrase, "Choose Life." I had no idea the Lord had just dropped the phrase He was going to ask me to embrace for 2019 into my heart that day. Nor did I have the slightest inkling of what He was going to take me through to show me the answers to my questions about how to choose life.

Since August of 2018 the phrase "Choose Life," has echoed in the corridors of my heart and showed up in my life countless times. When I hit some major road bumps at the end of 2018 the Lord challenged me to "Choose Life." Sometimes that meant going to line dancing on Thursday nights. Sometimes that meant leaving the house and spending time with a friend even when I didn't feel like it. Always it meant showing up, being willing to say yes to Jesus and life for another day and trusting Him with the rest!

Towards the end of 2018 I received a letter from a crisis pregnancy center. I opened it to find that the scripture they had chosen for their newsletter was Deuteronomy 30:19. I stared in disbelief at the newsletter. The whole theme of it was undoubtedly, "Choose Life." I shook my head as a smile spread across my face, "I can't believe this Lord. You keep putting this phrase in front of me. I hear you Lord. I'm listening!" About a week later on my drive to work I pulled up behind a vehicle at a stoplight and causally glanced at the license plate. I couldn't believe what met my eyes. Clear as day across the bottom of the license plate was the phrase, "Choose Life." I snatched my phone up from the seat beside me and snapped a quick picture. I wanted to remember this day God made it clear again that He was giving me this phrase for 2019! I chuckled to myself. Of course the state of Nebraska would create this alternative license plate right over the same time God was giving me this phrase for 2019! Only God could do something like that!

January 6th, 2019 Ashland, Nebraska, Riverview Community Church. The first Sunday of 2019 found me at my home church RCC listening to Pastor Anthony Pratt. When Anthony said that we were starting the New Year with a sermon series called "True Life," I'm pretty sure my mouth dropped open in surprise. I couldn't believe that our first series of the New Year was in keeping with the theme God is giving me for this year. Furthermore when I glanced down at my Bible app on my phone God had yet another confirmation awaiting me. This is the text we were studying that Sunday. We proclaim to you the one who existed from the beginning, whom we have heard and seen. We saw him with our own eyes and touched him with our own hands. He is the word of life. This one WHO IS LIFE ITSELF was revealed to us, and we have seen him. And now we testify and proclaim to you that he is the one who is ETERNAL LIFE. He was with the Father, and then was revealed to us. (1 John 1:1-2 NLT) "This One who is life itself." Man, that phrase hit me right at my core. You see, to this point I had been exploring this phrase, "Choose Life," through the perspective of choosing things in my life that cause me to feel alive, bring me joy, and make me the best version of who God created me to be. I do in fact believe this is a piece of what this phrase calls us to. Numerous times recently God has challenged me to choose life over sadness, anxiety, anger, and sometimes that looks like choosing things that create life and joy in our lives instead. But in this moment in church when I looked down and this phrase "Who is life itself," jumped off the page to me I felt like I was experiencing an epiphany. Jesus does call us to choose life in specific and practical ways that we can physically carry out, but when we do this we are in essence choosing Jesus, because HE IS LIFE ITSELF. Anything that we experience as truly living, as joy filled, as feeling fully alive, this is from Jesus Himself. There is no life outside of Him, and when we choose Jesus, we choose life!

In closing I have two parting thoughts for you. I chose life for the first time when I said yes to Jesus as a nine year old girl. I realized that my sin separated me from spending eternity with Jesus. I came to the place where I recognized I needed to choose the gift of His life and death on the cross to be forgiven of my sins and set free here and now as well as for eternity. Peter in the book of Acts speaks to a crowd who had gathered around him after he told a lame man to walk in the name of Jesus. In addressing the crowd Peter tells them that they killed the Author of Life when they crucified Jesus on the cross. Peter goes on to tell them that God raised Jesus from the dead and challenges the crowd with these words. Now repent of your sins and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped away. Then times of refreshment will come from the presence of the Lord, and he will again send you Jesus, your appointed Messiah. (Acts 3:19-20) If you want to read the complete story you can find it in Acts chapter 3. Life begins at the cross. We choose life for the very first time when we bow our knee to Jesus and admit we need the gift of eternal life He secured for us through His death and resurrection. Without receiving this gift we cannot experience true life at all. There is salvation in no one else! God has given no other name under heaven by which we must be saved." (Acts 4:12 NLT) If you have not yet chosen life in this way, my challenge to you is to seek out the truth of this true life and begin your journey with Jesus in experiencing and exploring the beauty of choosing life in Him.

The second thought I am leaving you with is this. How are you choosing life and therefore choosing Jesus in 2019? What ways is He calling you to step out, to be brave, to do that hard thing, and choose the life He has for you? Choosing life isn't easy! It often looks a hundred times easier to choose death. Death screams at us to pay attention to it in the form of self pity, bitterness, negativity. But in the end we find it only produces brokenness and sorrow. When you hear Jesus whisper to, "Choose Life," this year and it looks hard, maybe even impossible to do so, grab a hold of this beautiful truth with me. When we choose life we choose Jesus, He is life itself! The road may be difficult at times, but I know there is no one I would rather choose than Jesus. I'm right beside you, wrestling, listening to Jesus, fighting to choose life!! I'm believing that together we can live victoriously choosing life and choosing Jesus in 2109!   

For in Him we LIVE and move and exist.

Acts 17:28a NLT